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Mar 29
2010
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DEPI Staffing, a healthcare recruiting firm, likes to share industry news, information, and sometimes humor. This week we're starting a new series called "You Might Be a Nurse If...". Please share your feedback or comments below.
Part One: You Might Be a Nurse If....
If you have ever tried to identify what a patient ate last by examining the barf on your shoes.
You knock before entering a room, knowing full well the only patient in there is the one that just died!
You've ever basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe!
You have placed your irritating patients/family members on P.I.T.A (Pain In The Ass) precautions!
You're at the grocery store, look down and notice you have at least 2 body fluids on your shoes and it doesn't bother you.
You refer to idiot patients as CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient).
When asked "Are you the nurse on tonight?" You want to respond "No, I just like dressing up as a Nurse and hanging around because I have nothing better to do!"
Ever had a patient whose positive pregnancy test prompts her to call the next day and ask if you can tell who the father is?
Ever referred to an intelligence-impaired individual as a functional anaerobe?
When asked to assist with a pelvic, you ask for a rope to help pull you out, just in case?
Ever roll your eyes when the 14 year-old says "No, I've never had sex"?
Ever been in the "Death Grip" of gomers?
Ever told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to HOLLER if they need help?
Ever referred to KY jelly as "Goober Grease"?
Ever passed on the green stuff at the buffet because you are certain you suctioned it from a patient earlier?
You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
You have ever referred to a patient as "genetically exclusive" or "genetically challenged."
You've developed a crease between your brows from trying NOT to inhale the various human secretions you've encountered over the years.
Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
You believe in PPP as a diagnosis - Piss Poor Protoplasm.
Stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two
